Lisa, the hospice social worker, called me at about noon and said that her news from the nurse was that Grandma was slipping away quickly, and they set it up so that we could go see her at 2pm.

I picked Larry up at work, leaving the kids at home, and we went to Grandma's house. She was in bed, on oxygen, and pretty out of it. She is taking a lot of morphine so she was sleeping on and off, and just kind of incoherent. I do feel that she recognized me a couple of times during the 45 minutes or so that we spent sitting with her. I sat on the side of her bed and held her hands and just told her how much I love her. At one point she told me "oh honey, please don't cry, please". She also said "I love you" several times, and when we left she said "I love you. Goodbye". It was hard, so hard. I wanted to stay there with her all day, leaving was so hard, but at the same time I knew it wouldn't get any better and I had the kids waiting at home for me, so we didn't stay too long. I told her some of the things I will miss doing with her, like sharing books and going to garage sales, etc. I told her that my kids love her and said to tell her goodbye, which they did.

god, what an ordeal.

Next comes the call letting us know that she has passed, and then the funeral, and then it will be over. Except the missing her. I will miss her forever.