Friday, August 19, 2005

I had Larry and the kids leave the house on some errands so I could write Grandma's obituary, but writing it made me so sad that I had to stop and now I wish I wasn't alone. It comes in waves, sometimes I'll be almost fine and then other times I just feel overwhelmed with sadness that I won't see my Grandma again. I feel like she would want to know how it all turned out! I guess I will have to trust that she is watching from above. So many what if's... and if only's...

We went and bought funeral clothes this afternoon, since we aren't the church-going type my kids, the boys especially, don't really have any "fancy" clothes. So we went and got the boys each some new black dress pants and white oxford shirts, and will get them ties, belts and black shoes later today. I got Lilly a white girly-style oxford and a black dropped waist jumper to wear over it, and black tights. Need to get her some black dress shoes, too. Britt had a black skirt already, so I got her a white tank top and a new black cardigan with a ribbon belt. She also needs black tights and shoes. Larry got a white oxford and just needs some dress shoes, and I got a black shirt but need to find a black skirt or pants and black shoes. It helps to focus on these little details, rather than sitting around trying to picture the rest of my life without my Grandma in it.


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